GROW A LOVE THAT LASTS (OCTOBER)
KEEP IN TOUCH
Don’t just live under the same roof, keep in touch. Check in with each other on a daily basis. Spend time alone with each other even if you have impossibly busy schedules. The impact that spending 30 minutes a day of uninterrupted time with your spouse is amazing. Be creative and find the time. Put down the cell phone, turn off the television, put the children to bed, and look at each other, talk— and listen. It will bring phenomenal results.
GIVE EACH OTHER FREEDOM
Give each other the freedom to have close family and friend relationships separately as well as together. It’s okay to have differing needs for socializing or different desires for extended family get-togethers. Respecting each other’s different needs for socializing and not making one another always attend a function with the other is healthy. There is nothing wrong with a girl’s or guy’s night out. Give each other the freedom to enjoy time away from the other.
CREATE A SAFE EMOTIONAL SPACE
Emotions are unpredictable, sometimes uncertain, and at times intense. However, if your marriage is a place where emotions can be explained and explored without ridicule and judgement, then trust and relationship can grow. Promise each other that you will guard against verbal and personal attacks, ridicule, and criticism that will damage one another’s feelings.
CHANGE YOURSELF, NOT YOUR PARTNER
You can’t change someone else. However, you can change yourself. Trying to change your spouse will create tension and grief in your relationship which may actually discourage them from changing. Quite frankly, you don’t like to be pressured, fixed, directed, controlled or manipulated to change. So spare your partner the same grief. Sometimes your spouse may need to see the change in you as motivation for changing themselves.
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